piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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