Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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