Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
you had me at cake vodka
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
