Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
my liver is dry heaving
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