When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
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