We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
