SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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