just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
