youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
