Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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