he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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