Nicole vs. Life
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
about cumming, not toast
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?