They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
