Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
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if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
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I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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