If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
