My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize
