The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
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Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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