so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
