Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
