The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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