Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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