Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
