this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
