She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
