I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize