in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
You're like the curious george of whores
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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