This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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