I love black thongs
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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