he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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