Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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