May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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