i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I hate all girls vehemently.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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