for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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