New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Randomize
