omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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