my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
