his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
