I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
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I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
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I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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