I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
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I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
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Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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