her vagine was all disorganized.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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