Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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