upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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