the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
