is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
My vagina is officially offended.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Randomize
