Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
