Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Randomize
