Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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