Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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