69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We left an ass print on the piano.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
