You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize