Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize