Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
