why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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