I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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