I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
