i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
