if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
