Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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