plz talk dirty to me
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
my sisters under your porch take her home
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
