Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I got inside last night via doggy door
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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