pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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