Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
